Futile Unrest, Fragile World.

I got up late today. 

Lately I've had a slight case of sleeping disorder which allows me to sleep at dawn and wake up at noon. Last night I slept a couple of hours after midnight but still ended up waking up late.

When I finally got up and checked my twitter updates, I was glued to it for the rest of the day. 

While I slept the morning away, a little island nation in East Asia was going though its worst natural disaster. While I stretched, yawned and rolled over to snooze for another minute, buildings swayed, homes crumbled and lives were lost. While it was just another lazy morning for me, people in Japan had their most terrifying day.

As I surfed the net to look up pictures and videos of the tsunami that was caused by the quake, it somehow felt familiar. I've come across such scenes before: 30 feet high waves crashing in, homes and streets submerged in water, cars bobbing along the sea water that flooded the streets, fire breaking out everywhere, debris all over the town and cities. Yes, I've seen such scenes before. In theaters, on screen, on big budget Hollywood disaster movies. 

Just never in real life.

And as I browsed more pictures, listened to reports and watched news channels, I keep telling myself "This can't be happening". I was shaken for the whole day. I prayed... continuously. There wasn't anything else I can do.

It makes me think of how fragile this world is; how much we accumulate everything as if we're going to live forever. The days that we spent, slogging for something that we know we can't keep forever. The futile unrest that we made for ourselves only to acquire things that can perish with the snap of a finger. The relationships that we sacrifice in want of a better material-tomorrow. Until that one fine spring afternoon when the whole world comes down. How futile is our wealth and how fragile is our world?? Unless we have the One who calms all the storm.

It also makes me wonder what if such a disaster hits my hometown?? My little city on the hill where big houses with bad foundations are perched on cliffs and rocks. I shook again. Violently. I thought about my own home, my family, the people I love most in the world. I stared at the crumbling buildings on my computer screen again. It could easily be them in such buildings, had even a slight quake happened at Aizawl.

I don't want to continue thinking about it.

So I switch my attention to Japan. My heart and my prayers go out to the people in Japan who are affected by the disaster. You have been through a lot before. And I am sure you will rise again! Prayers are with you always.

To Zuali...

I know you can't quite read this yet. But one day when you do, you'll feel good to know that you are loved.

When you're dad called me up the day you were born, you were still cleaned and wrapped in the delivery room. Your dad laughed, "It's a girl again" he said. I could somehow sense the laced disappointment in the laughter. Don't blame him. He wanted a son ever since your eldest sister was born, but it doesn't mean he loves you lest.

Your two elder sisters were so excited that they could hardly speak to me when I called them up. "A Ni " they both squealed, " It's a little girl. We're gonna have a new playmate" . And though I am ecstatic for them, I somehow envy them in a way. I've always wanted to have a sister. Now don't get me wrong, your dad and uncles have been great brothers to me. But sisterhood is something much different; something that I will never have the privilege of experiencing in this lifetime. I am so glad, you will not miss out on this wonderful relationship.

When they gave you the name Lalhriatzuali  I was over the moon because you have a piece of my name. I don't know if they named you after me but it's good to know that I have a little namesake in you. Everyone may call you something else, but to me, you will always be Zuali, a perfect little piece of me.

I want you to know, my darling niece, to never underestimate yourself and the power of your existence. You are created with a purpose. A purpose no one else can fulfill but yourself. And as you grow up to face the world, there'll be times you doubt yourself. But each time it happens, I want you to remember that the moment I got that phone call from your dad, I sprouted a whole new heart to love only you. And the good news is that, I am not the only one. My love for you grew as I watched you grow through your parents' Facebook albums. I watch you sleep, cry, bathe and eat and now today, I watch you sit up with support. And I can see bits and pieces of myself in you already. You have your Grandma's eyes and that little chin, you got it from me, my little button. Yet in spite of all these little familiarities, you are a new person all on your own. Zuali, You are yet another miracle in my life.

I know that it's up to me and the family to make sure you enjoy growing up in this world. But this fallen world ain't perfect. And if ever a time comes when we make mistakes, it doesn't mean that we want second best for you. Remember, there's nothing in this life that can't be tackled with the help of a loving family, a little laughter, hard work and the Big Man Upstairs.

And as you grow up the world will tell you to follow your heart and just to be yourself. Don't listen to them my darling, for the heart can be deceptive. Lead your heart instead of following it. And never ever be content to be just yourself. Because there's honor in always striving to be the miracle that God created you to be.

Love,

XOX

A Ni