Futile Unrest, Fragile World.

I got up late today. 

Lately I've had a slight case of sleeping disorder which allows me to sleep at dawn and wake up at noon. Last night I slept a couple of hours after midnight but still ended up waking up late.

When I finally got up and checked my twitter updates, I was glued to it for the rest of the day. 

While I slept the morning away, a little island nation in East Asia was going though its worst natural disaster. While I stretched, yawned and rolled over to snooze for another minute, buildings swayed, homes crumbled and lives were lost. While it was just another lazy morning for me, people in Japan had their most terrifying day.

As I surfed the net to look up pictures and videos of the tsunami that was caused by the quake, it somehow felt familiar. I've come across such scenes before: 30 feet high waves crashing in, homes and streets submerged in water, cars bobbing along the sea water that flooded the streets, fire breaking out everywhere, debris all over the town and cities. Yes, I've seen such scenes before. In theaters, on screen, on big budget Hollywood disaster movies. 

Just never in real life.

And as I browsed more pictures, listened to reports and watched news channels, I keep telling myself "This can't be happening". I was shaken for the whole day. I prayed... continuously. There wasn't anything else I can do.

It makes me think of how fragile this world is; how much we accumulate everything as if we're going to live forever. The days that we spent, slogging for something that we know we can't keep forever. The futile unrest that we made for ourselves only to acquire things that can perish with the snap of a finger. The relationships that we sacrifice in want of a better material-tomorrow. Until that one fine spring afternoon when the whole world comes down. How futile is our wealth and how fragile is our world?? Unless we have the One who calms all the storm.

It also makes me wonder what if such a disaster hits my hometown?? My little city on the hill where big houses with bad foundations are perched on cliffs and rocks. I shook again. Violently. I thought about my own home, my family, the people I love most in the world. I stared at the crumbling buildings on my computer screen again. It could easily be them in such buildings, had even a slight quake happened at Aizawl.

I don't want to continue thinking about it.

So I switch my attention to Japan. My heart and my prayers go out to the people in Japan who are affected by the disaster. You have been through a lot before. And I am sure you will rise again! Prayers are with you always.

To Zuali...

I know you can't quite read this yet. But one day when you do, you'll feel good to know that you are loved.

When you're dad called me up the day you were born, you were still cleaned and wrapped in the delivery room. Your dad laughed, "It's a girl again" he said. I could somehow sense the laced disappointment in the laughter. Don't blame him. He wanted a son ever since your eldest sister was born, but it doesn't mean he loves you lest.

Your two elder sisters were so excited that they could hardly speak to me when I called them up. "A Ni " they both squealed, " It's a little girl. We're gonna have a new playmate" . And though I am ecstatic for them, I somehow envy them in a way. I've always wanted to have a sister. Now don't get me wrong, your dad and uncles have been great brothers to me. But sisterhood is something much different; something that I will never have the privilege of experiencing in this lifetime. I am so glad, you will not miss out on this wonderful relationship.

When they gave you the name Lalhriatzuali  I was over the moon because you have a piece of my name. I don't know if they named you after me but it's good to know that I have a little namesake in you. Everyone may call you something else, but to me, you will always be Zuali, a perfect little piece of me.

I want you to know, my darling niece, to never underestimate yourself and the power of your existence. You are created with a purpose. A purpose no one else can fulfill but yourself. And as you grow up to face the world, there'll be times you doubt yourself. But each time it happens, I want you to remember that the moment I got that phone call from your dad, I sprouted a whole new heart to love only you. And the good news is that, I am not the only one. My love for you grew as I watched you grow through your parents' Facebook albums. I watch you sleep, cry, bathe and eat and now today, I watch you sit up with support. And I can see bits and pieces of myself in you already. You have your Grandma's eyes and that little chin, you got it from me, my little button. Yet in spite of all these little familiarities, you are a new person all on your own. Zuali, You are yet another miracle in my life.

I know that it's up to me and the family to make sure you enjoy growing up in this world. But this fallen world ain't perfect. And if ever a time comes when we make mistakes, it doesn't mean that we want second best for you. Remember, there's nothing in this life that can't be tackled with the help of a loving family, a little laughter, hard work and the Big Man Upstairs.

And as you grow up the world will tell you to follow your heart and just to be yourself. Don't listen to them my darling, for the heart can be deceptive. Lead your heart instead of following it. And never ever be content to be just yourself. Because there's honor in always striving to be the miracle that God created you to be.

Love,

XOX

A Ni

February: Highs and Lows

February's almost over! Two months into 2011 already. Gone before you know know it, gone before you couldn't make much use of it! 

"If time flies when you're having fun, it hits the afterburners when you don't think you have enough."

~ Jef Mallett

Monthly updates, like this one, I've realized, helped me keep track of the passing month. And somehow plays a teeny tiny role in helping me keep my 'private world' in order. And also, I've noticed that there are people who document their every week through Facebook albums and their every moment through twitter. I choose to do mine with a monthly 'high and low' post. So, here goes my Highs and Lows for the month.

Highs:

• I got a scale, a weighing scale! Got back to weighing myself every week. Hope to kick pork! L  However, I grinned as I came across this :

 “Sa zawng zawngah sangha a tha bera, vawksa a thalo ber. Sangha chu kan Lal Isua pawn tihpun tlaka a ngaih a ni a; vawk erawh chu an kawchhung pawh ramhuaiho luhna tawk leka a ngaih a ni. Mahse vawksa a tui ber thung”

Mahruaia Renthlei.

Rihnim. Vol.40; Issue:39. 06^th February, 2011   

• Marie Digby. ‘Un’manufactured (at least the first album); Raw yet polished talent; pretty face, beautiful voice! I'm embarrassed to discover her so late! Doesn't matter, it's never too late to fall in love! :D

• My Sunday School Group grew to 8 last year to 14 this year! **Double Grin** 14 teenagers who'd probably kill me if they hear me call them 'kids'. I love challenges... especially in the form of teens with attitude!

• Shooting a mock video of Katy Perry's "Teenage Dream" with my roomie. It all happened when we had a lazy morning with nothing to do and the shoot just happened! The location: hostel terrace, a corner of our room. We never get to shoot that scene with the Bullet mainly because her friend who owns the bullet had a term paper to work on and couldn't join us in our nonsense project. I used our measly digicam for the shoot and edited in the afternoon with Windows Live Movie Maker. (Yea! I work light). And by dinner time, CyDen's Teenage Dream was ready for viewing!! TaaDaa! But No!! I will not post a link! Sorry, the video's for restricted viewing only! Nancy Choden, I'm having too much fun with you around. I thank God for you but I swear I'll kick you out if my grades start deteriorating! 

• An all-time old teen crush added me on Facebook! **Cheshire Grin** Wait.... Hell No!! I'm not cheating!!

• Broadband connection! Ka Ching!! 

• The JNU Miho Pawl Kut 2011. Our annual get together where we unwind and make fool of ourselves. We spend an afternoon at a park, frolicking and having fun; had dinner at the 'famous' Chanakya Place and sang ourselves sore with some old Mizo hits till midnight at PSR rocks in campus. I woke up the next day, sore, dehydrated and with hardly a voice, yet still unrepentant.

whoop whoop whoop!!

Lows:

• Clowns! The world is a better place without clowns. There is this shoe shop in a certain market I frequented who uses dancing clowns as mascots. I haven't entered the shop yet! Once I even skipped a Sunday School Student's birthday party because her mother mentioned that they've hired clowns for the party. I sent a huge gift (out of guilt) and feigned sickness. I'm really sorry, Rhoda. maybe one day you'll understand. Well, this month, I came across clowns at the CanSupport event. The only thing I didn't like about the event. Hands down!

• Porty Potties. My greatest fear in the world is to be trapped in a porty potty. Claustrophobia coming out to play. And I had no choice but to use one at the same event. My two-minutes of horror. Somehow, my cammie-handy roomie managed to capture the moment.

ewwww!!! ewwww!! ewww!!!

• 14th February. Need I say more?

• Rain in February. Sigh! Sigh! I don't mind the cold, I mind the fog! Sigh! Sigh! It kills my mood each time I wake up to a cloudy day!

• A close friend of mine gave me credit for the picture he used as the front page for his recently released book(let). Prior to the book release, he assured me it was taken at a certain prayer cell event. I, on the other hand, lost all my pictures after my latest hard-disk crash so I couldn't check if it was indeed my picture. So, after all his 'blessed assurance', I happily obliged, and in doing so, I opened Pandora's box. The trouble: it wasn't my picture. The chaos: Two other friends who claimed to own the picture are now in a row while I quietly sip my coffee and stare at my name printed at the Thuhma Theh pages.

The book(let) which almost caused a war between friends! Hmmph!

There goes my highs and lows... What's yours?

The Magic Words...

A  4 year old Sunday School student who is also a son of my classmate in high school came running to me showing me a little scrap on his tiny cheeks.

'U Zuali, niminah hei Sawmsanga'n a colour bawmin min vawm'

The other in question came running and hugged my knees before I could reply.

'Mahse U Zuali, 'Sorry' ka ti tawh a. Best Friends kan ni tawh'.

His friend nodded in agreement while proudly showing me his 'battle scars'. The two of them are neighbors and, as they declare, are also 'best friends'. Sawmtea and Sawmsanga.They always share a chair on Sunday School, meet each other everyday and, according to the family, will always end up in a fight with one of them crying. Sometimes the fights will count up to 4 times in a single day. But somehow they always make up before the day is done.

They have two magic words: Please and Sorry.

Please  is the magic word which can somehow persuade anyone into doing the thing that you 'politely' request them to do. Once this word is uttered, the other person will have to try his best to do what you request them to do... even the impossible. Once uttered, the person will do anything in his power to grant the request. Done. Once Sawmsanga wanted me to stay over at his place. Such incidents happen when a 4 year old proudly declares you in front of his family 'U Zuali hi ka chhianpa (Thianpa) ania'. I couldn't honor his request as I had an early class the next day. When I left, he was shattered, his face fell as he said 'Tinge U Zuali kha a haw? 'Please' ka ti reng sia'. I hated myself for breaking the bubble!

The other magic word Sorry mends every heart ache and every pain in the world. When uttered, Sorry, all fights stop. All wrongs are done right; everyone forgives; the slate is wiped clean; no past bruises and you can start all over again. Like the way that one forgives even though he still carries his battle scar and the other is bold enough to declare him his best friend because he has already uttered the magic word Sorry.

If only real life were this simple and we have pure hearts like these best friends, magic words like Please and Sorry would have more value in the world.

To my boys who taught me how to say and receive the magic words Please and Sorry! 

 And really mean it...

Love

XXOXX

In Chhianpa, 

U Zuali

Of quiet evening rides and a 'vintage' scooter...

It was a cool  late February evening in Delhi. The rain which somehow curbed the heat from taking over indeed played its role well. The weather was perfect. Everything looked green and golden with the setting sun. We took the dirt track along the lonely river. A lonely path right in the middle of the busy city. With the evening sun against my face and the wind in my hair, I snuggled up against the man I love, as I rode behind him in his 10 year old hand-me-down scooter. Now, scoot's one of a kind. Though ancient, it still gets you from point A to point B, with weekly occasional breakdowns. Well, the loud 'clucking' sound of this 'vintage' scooter didn't do much to spoil my moment as I was too busy taking in the moment- the man whose warm back I snuggled up to, the golden evening, the dirt track and the quiet waters glistening against the setting sun... 

The dirt track! Perfect for an evening ride!!

The quiet waters against the evening sun!! Sigh!!

Okay!! Are we done praising the beauty of the evening??

**Reality Check**

The Lonely River is but a dirty Delhi drain!! :( :(

A huge nala whose stink will make sure you wash your face and brush your teeth (twice!) by the time you reach home.

Can't tell from the pic. Can you? Well, All that glitters is not gold! What you see can fool you at times!

And as for the 'vintage scooter', he threw his weekly tantrum and died down at every single kilometer for the last 7 kms. The campus security even tried helping us with amused grin plastered all over their faces, to no avail. Charming Scoots!! Phabo, on his way back, almost got arrested as old Scoots decided to go silent right in the middle of the traffic!! Talk about Old John Faithful . NOT!!

If it were up to me, I would have gotten rid of it to the kabari walla who frequents his area. Why?? I don't have problems with his rusted covers and clucking hums. I don't lust after shiny black motorbikes and I absolutely adore men on 'noble' steeds. But scoots, in his worst, will make you hold on to your dear life in an emergency room in the hospital. A two-inch stitch scar right in the ribs will be just one of the souvenirs of his fits. To let you in on a lil' secret, the owner's medical bills in total already came up to thrice the price worth of Scoots! Have I mentioned that Scoots throws really bad tantrums!? Aahh!! Wish I have a decent shot of Scoots to upload!

And of course, the cool rider would give me his trademark acid stares complete with the chawngkawr eyes if he ever came across this post!

On my defense, Scoots or no Scoots... I adore you still! :)