Not Another Mushy Valentine's Day Post!!

I know, I know. Valentine’s day is just around the corner! Another month of pink hearts and red roses! UGH!! The moment someone mentions the word ‘February’, red heart-shaped balloons come to my mind! And I hate myself for it! My roommate, I’ve realized, is a hater. She’s happily single and that doesn’t have anything to do with her being anti-Valentine.  Well, she’s one of those rare gems who threatened her then-boyfriend with a red card if he even acknowledges V’day. A week back, she’s already started making mental notes on what to put up on her Facebook status for the 14th.

My hostel, on the other hand, celebrates Valentine’s day each year with Dinner and Dance party. It has been tradition since this co-ed hostel opened 6 years ago! I don’t really need a special day or a commercialized festival to have good food and shake my booty ‘cause I do it in my room on daily basis anyway (minus the good food).  It’s, however, downright mean fun to sit on the top ledge, which has the best view of the badminton court (read hostel dancefloor), bundle up in blankets against the cold night and laugh at hostel mates dancing! Gawd! I’d even bring out my good blanket to see that 6’1, hairy, curly-haired, paunchy, one-time Hostel President doing his annually updated pole-dancing routine yet again!! Mr. Gladrags sure knows how to make use of the poles holding the badminton nets! A must watch on every single Hostel Dance! I don’t know if the recent “MMS clip” will somehow curb the Hostel committee from holding such a party! I sure hope not!

I prefer to call myself indifferent towards V’day. But today, I realised I’m more on the colder side when I got offended after a friend asked me about my Valentine plan. I knew that it was far from his intention to offend me but why would this guy want to know about my V’day plan??? It’s not like he asks me about how I spend my Christmas. Fine, I have a steady boyfriend but does that mean we have to go out on a date, plan a dinner, whatever, on this particular day!

  

Two years back, I remember, we ‘preponed’ V’day, took a day off and spend the whole day visiting different museums and art galleries. We ate what we pleased, lounged in a park and commuted in local buses. It was the best Valentine date ever and it didn’t even happen on the 14^th!! To top it all, we didn’t get lecherous looks or attacked by the Shiv Sena! :D :D  

So recalling that day, here I am, writing a list of Top Ten Reasons why I shouldn’t go on a date on Valentine’s day this year!

1.    CLICHÉ’s the word. Why would I need a specific day to show my love for a person? Why 14^th February? What significance does it have to you? C’mon, let’s face it, even the origins of the festival still remains obscure. I know I sound mean when I say that the vague story of an old priest hundreds of years ago doesn’t have anything to do with me sharing a special day with the one I love. And when I do share a day, the old priest is absolutely the last person on my mind!
2. It's expensive!!! Especially on my student’s budget! A stem of rose costs five to ten times as much as you would get otherwise! And I genuinely hate all the “ his’ and hers’ “ merchandises
3. I get disgusted by the amount of PDA on the streets on this day!
4. This year, 14^th February is a Monday. (Yes, I’ve done my research!). On Mondays, I get up late, plan my week and head to the library. As dull as it may sound, no compromise with my routine for pink hearts and red balloons! And Phabo (Read Boyfriend) works on Mondays. Full periods. Why meet on a busy Monday when he’s free in the weekend??
5. I wear make-up on Sundays. Not on Mondays. There’s no way I’m putting on mascaras on a Monday. It’s hazardous to health; it’s against humanity; it’s against the laws of nature!
6. I sincerely don’t like the superficial pity that couples have for their single friends (Mine included) when it's actually the couples who need pity on V'Day. Some of my best Valentine’s days spent was when I was single (**wink*wink**).
7. The very sensitive Phabo will feel obligated to buy me a gift if we go out that day, fuss over what to get me (trust me, he’s bad at it) and bite his nails wondering if I’ll like it (Not his hottest act!).And I, in turn, will feel bad that he feels obligated, feels uncreative and gets panic-attacked (respectively).[Note to Phabo: Burn me a CD or write me a heartfelt note instead. Thanks.]
8. Valentine’s day is such a hallmark festival! Did I ever mention that I particularly dislike hallmark cards?? Well, I do. I prefer handmade ones. And with the creativity of my super other, my chances of getting one is slim to none.  [Note to Phabo: the heartfelt note]
9. My V’date would make me miss out on the Hostel scene. The only good food special dinner we get in a month, the top ledge seat, the feet dangling and disco lights. Mr. Gladrags doesn’t pole-dance everyday!! (I know you’re probably accusing me of choosing the pole-dancer over Phabo, but you have to see him bump and grind before you judge me!)
10.  Since I turned 18, my dad buys me a really expensive good perfume on Valentine’s day every year, provided I’m single. Well, this year, I dress in black, stand in silence and lament over the loss of Chanel No. 5.

So there you go. Now you know why I wouldn’t go out on a date on Valentine’s day.

But consider this a fair warning; for I will cut you in half if you ask me about my plans for this Valentine’s day again!

See, I told you, I’m not a hater, just indifferent!

Have a memorable Valentine's Day everyone!