Once during a Bible discussion group, a friend talked about how important a role that fathers play in our understanding and relationship with God, the Father. Misha went on to talk about her childhood and how difficult it was for her to understand God's love, because the only father figure she ever had in her life was a man who was abusive to her for years and who, in the end, abandoned Misha and her mother for another woman. She later told me that the Bible story she had problems with the most was the parable of "The Prodigal Son". I remembered listening to her story often paused with sobs and sullen anger and for the first time, being really thankful for my father.
That happened only a few years ago. I admit with shame that, before Misha's story, I had taken my father for granted.
So today, I'll take the time, get back on radar and blog about my dad. Forgive me if I brag, but if I do brag, let me brag about my thankfulness for having such a dad.
I was 18 when my mother passed away. Until then, I must admit, I looked to my dad as more of a financial support than a parent. But these nine years without Ma has taught me how much of a parent he really is and how hard he tries to be a father to my brothers and I, each single day. I admire everything about my dad, but the one thing that stands irrevocably prominent is the Big Gesture that he made for me by allowing me to stay away from home for these many years. It might not be a big deal to some, but for me, it's the greatest sacrifice that my father can make!.
You see, I am an only daughter and I have been away from home since I turned 16. After Ma passed away, there hasn't been anyone to take care of and run the house. And with running the house, I literally mean 'running the house'. People who know me in person know that my father has a career in politics. And it is a known truth that politicians and pastors get criticized the most from the way their children lived their lives. Politicians and pastors again, need a good home support system. A support system which I, as an only daughter to such a father, should provide. No matter how hard I try to live my imperfect life perfectly, at the end of the day, I am but a daughter who stays a million miles away.
Soon after I graduated, uncles and aunts and what-nots have put constant pressure on my dad to ask me "to come home and take care of the house". And especially after dad lost in the last election, the pressure grew to "How are you going to support her? We all know how expensive living in Delhi is! Ask her to come home, a Master's degree is more than enough. Anymore than that, no one will marry her". My dad was quiet. And when it was time, he dropped me to the airport, waved me off and told me to go fight for my dreams. I know that all the uncles and aunts and what-nots, somehow, want the best for me and my dad. They could see that my dad was all alone and he needed someone to take care of him and help him run the house. But despite their good will, giving me a chance at doing what I want to do was just out of question. Why? "Because you're a girl. Once you come of age you'll be married off. Why spend so much time and money on you?". And here I thought we are living in the 21st century!! Well, Hello!!
Once after overhearing such 'pressures' being put on my dad, I exploded. I went to my grandparents, bawled my eyes out and even went to the extent of telling my grandpa that my uncles should 'just shut up'. Word must have gotten around. It's been years since such 'pressures' were put on my dad. What was so precious to me was that my dad put his foot down against the family and choose to give me a chance at an education that I've always wanted. Even though he knew, by doing so, the house would be empty and he'd have no one to take care of him or keep him company.
Once after overhearing such 'pressures' being put on my dad, I exploded. I went to my grandparents, bawled my eyes out and even went to the extent of telling my grandpa that my uncles should 'just shut up'. Word must have gotten around. It's been years since such 'pressures' were put on my dad. What was so precious to me was that my dad put his foot down against the family and choose to give me a chance at an education that I've always wanted. Even though he knew, by doing so, the house would be empty and he'd have no one to take care of him or keep him company.
My dad has always supported me in what I want to do, where I want to go and even who I want to date. Unlike many Mizo fathers who stay away from their daughters' emotional escapades, my dad has been there for me for the biggest heartbreak of my life and right now, giving me constant support through, yet, another heartbreak. When you have a father who cherish you as such, you'll never settle for second best. And when you have a father who trusts you so much, breaking his trust is the last thing you want to do.
Today, I want to tell my dad that he is my hero and his love is the reason why God's love seems so real to me. I want to tell my dad, that I fought for my dreams only because he fought for me; that if I am a trustworthy daughter, it's only because he has been a trustworthy dad. That if I am a woman who is respected, it's because he taught me to respect myself; that if I ever meet a man who truly loves me, it's only because my dad taught me how to love; that if I'm a good human being, it's only because I learnt it from him.
Pa,
Min hmangaihzia leh ka tana i inpek nasatzia ka hmuhin, Pathian hmangaihna ropuizia min hriatnawntir thin. Nang ang pa ka neih che avang hian, Pathian hmangaihna hi a takin ka hmu nawn fo thin a; Pathianin malsawmna min pek zawng zawng zinga ropui ber chu nangmah hi i ni asin. Pa, ka hmangaih che!
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