I am wondering why I am down here sitting and typing these lines away... I'm having exams these days... for three consecutive days, a weekend paper submission and my 'tiger-paper' on Monday. At the top is that little red cherry... my bad health, which has consumed most of my time, my persistence, my patience,my energy and my bank account balance. This semester has been really tough... social obligations, choir practices, exec meets, heavy papers, project works, mini-researches, medical operations and yes... working under a "racist" professor. I'm lagging behind in my studies, looking at hand-out sheets with blank-out mind and doing last minute readings.
End semester exams have started... and it'll be over in a week. Then the nightmare begins with dissertation work! Are we supposed to write a dissertation for Master's??? Any Nyishi grammarians out there??? I really need a superman here. There won't be any happy holidays for me... I won't be going home!! I will probably be alone in my room for the "sleepy hollow" winter and try to cope up with the horrible mess food!! yuck!!
As I went through my personal journal the other day... I noticed a line I have written 2 years ago; the time I had to skip my exams because of yet another minor sugery... (Unhealthy me!!)... It was written on a page in the "With Jesus" section of my journal; the section which has seen me at my worst heartbreak, my greatest fear, my supreme loss and my utmost depressions. Memories came flooding back... I could see myself; all crumpled in the hospital gown in a rainy cold October morning, skinny and patchy, dark rings under my eyes, writing with shaky hands probably caused by too much intake of antibiotics... the line still shakily scribbles across the page... "For this too shall pass".
And it did!! I'm still alive and kicking out here... getting kicked too sometimes :) but nonetheless surviving. I know Someone up there loves me and I know that He'll take me through this valley again. And all I can do now is keep trusting, keep looking and keep believing that "this too shall pass!".
"Some trust in chariots and some in horses,
But we will trust in the Name of the Lord, our God"